the evergreen state.

leaving is difficult. saying goodbye seems to only become bearable when it's fast, like ripping off a band-aid. if the plant isn't pulled out completely, roots stay behind, smoldering in familiar ground where they once grew. returning has been nothing close to expected. i'd forgotten that without the protection of a band-aid, healed skin is vulnerable. the regression stings, burns like salt in a scrape. i'm trying to remember...trying to appriciate, that though salt stings, it also heals.

˙uʍoʇ ɹǝdɐd sıɥʇ uı 'ǝןdoǝd ɹǝdɐd ǝsǝɥʇ

To be made of paper things. To live with a paper heart filled with paper intent..

"Maybe it's more like you said before, all of us being cracked open. Like, each of us starts out as a watertight vessel. And these things happen— these people leave us, or don't love us, or don't get us, or we don't get them, and we lose and fail and hurt one another. And the vessel cracks open in places. And I mean, yeah, once the vessel cracks open, the end becomes inevitable. Once it starts to rain inside the Osprey, it will never be remodeled. But there is all this time between when the cracks start to open up and we finally fall apart. And it's only in that time that we can see one another, because we see out of ourselves through the cracks and into others through theirs. When did we see each other face-to-face? Not until you saw into my cracks and I saw into yours. Before that, we were just looking at ideas of each other, like looking at your window shade but never seeing inside. But once the vessel cracks, the light can get in. The light can get out."

03.

Day03. The five songs you would have with you on a desert island and why:
After careful deliberation, I've decided that five songs would be far too little.
I've tried to compile a list,and it's extremely close to impossible.
And also,what are the actual chances of my butt ever landing on a desert island?
Is there a song that'll get me water,food,AC,my cello, and a party?

.

REAL EYES realize real lies.
you signed yourself up.

sǝob ʇı os puɐ

"If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were."
-Kahlil Gibran.

ʇqnop ǝʎqpoob

Everything, everything is leaving me wondering
I'm I hate that I'm questioning everything, everything.

02.

Day02. Something that inspires you:

• People who follow their hearts without hesitation.
• People who give of themselves.
• Being on the beach.
• Looking at the stars.
• People who look out for invisible others.
• People who have conquered fear.
• Musicmusicmusicmusic.
• E-mails from Thedailylove.com.

pǝuɹɐǝן ǝʌ,ı

I’ve learned that when someone criticizes me behind my back, I must live so that no one will believe it.
I’ve learned that I always have room for improvement.
I’ve learned that if you do not go after what you want, you may never have it.
I’ve learned that if you do not ask, the answer will be no.
I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people will just never care back.
I’ve learned that we accept the love that we think we deserve.
I’ve learned that there is nothing I can do to be liked or tolerated by everyone.
I’ve learned that I am the happiest when making other people happy.
I’ve learned that the impossible, becomes possible if I push myself hard enough.
I’ve learned that it’s important to be careful what you wish for.
I’ve learned that you shouldn’t sweat the small things.
I’ve learned that when the problem seems to be caused by everyone else, the culprit is actually me.
I’ve learned that no matter how good a friend may seem, they’re human, and they’re going to hurt me every once in a while.
I’ve learned that girls are way too complicated; thus making boys way too simple.
I've learned that apologies are like band-aids; they may cover up the hurt temporarily,but in order to fix the wound,you've gotta do some healing.
I’ve learned that making mistakes is entirely inevitable.
I’ve learned that, like my dad always says, “You can never control what other people think, say, or do.”
I've learned that everyone deserves a second chance.
I’ve learned that it’s human nature to put yourself in front of others.I’ve learned that somethings just don’t make sense.
I’ve learned that it is better to trust hurtful honesty than be ignorant to a lie.
I’ve learned that life isn’t fair.
I've learned that life's too short.
I’ve learned that no matter how badly my heart may break, I will always learn to love again.
I've learned to be thankful for the people who stick with me and the people who walk out on me.
I’ve learned that it is a horrendous trait of being human to love the people who hurt me and hurt the people who love me.
I’ve learned that sticks and stones may break my bones, and I can choose whether or not I let words hurt me.
I’ve learned that everyone has capacity to love and be loved; some just do not know how.
I’ve learned that a bad reputation is hard to shake.
I’ve learned confidence is sexy.
I've learned that there's always someone who understands exactly how you feel.
I’ve learned that what goes around, usually comes back around.
I've learned that when you're truly hurting, "I'm sorry" sounds empty.
I’ve learned that I want to be more like those who smile at strangers.
I’ve learned that there’s not an immediate reason for everything.
I’ve learned that nothing, nothing in the world can make me feel as whole as music can. Nothing can heal my heart and my head as well as notes on a page.
I’ve learned that sometimes I need those ‘smack you in the face’ realizations.
I’ve learned that we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
I’ve learned that a little bit of humor makes being stuck in a hard place a little bit easier.
I’ve learned the word ‘love’ looses its meaning when overused.
I’ve learned that its hard to determine where the line is drawn between not hurting the feelings of others, and standing up for what you believe in.
I’ve learned that nothing makes you feel more infinite than blasting John Mayer as loud as the stereo will go with your best friend.
I’ve learned that laughing is contagious.
I’ve learned that certain books can change your life.
I’ve learned that bad things happen to good people all the time and vice versa.
I've learned that stories from the old and wise can teach you a whole lot about life.
I’ve learned that nearly every horrible thing that has happened to me, has turned into a good thing.
I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn.

¿ɯɐǝɹp noʎ op

"All people dream, but not equally. Those who dream at night in the dusty recesses of their mind wake in the morning to find that it was vanity. But the dreamers of the day are dangerous people, for they dream their dreams with open eyes and make them come true."

01.

Day01. Your guilty pleasure(s):

• Perfume. Bottles and bottles and bottles of it.
• Long afternoon naps.
• Fage Greek yogurt with honey.
• Brand new Victoria's Secret undies.
• Anything Lush.
• Stand-on-your-seat-and-yell kinda basketball games.
• The Sims 3.